The WEPA World News

SCREWY TUSKERS LOSE BATTLE FOR EIGHTH PLACE

The elephant polo world was rocked this morning by a game that will go down in the history books. The Screwy Tuskers, holders of the coveted Eighth Place in the WEPA tournaments for the past four years, were blown out of their spot by the American Braves in a nail-biting sudden death match.

The game began with a bang. Christy, at center, was riding Ram Guj, the fastest elephant of the tournament. Although the speed of the elephant does give the player an advantage, there still is a tremendous amount of skill necessary to utilize that advantage. And Christy did just that. She scored goal after goal after goal in the first chukka. Patty, in the number two position helped her out and Lisa, at goalie, prevented the Braves from scoring when they did manage to get the ball to her side. From all appearances, the Screwy Tuskers did not seem to as determined to win the eighth place position as they have been in previous years.

The Screwy Tuskers went into the second chukka with a 5 goal lead. Annie was at center, Roxana at second and Laurie at the goal. Bhim, who apparently felt that seventh place would be a preferable position, was riding Ram Guj during this chukka. He too showed excellent offensive skill by spending most of the chukka in the Screwy Tuskers’ D. Laurie, still determined to wind up in eighth place, had gotten a little panicked at halftime when it was looking like the Braves were going to take the honors. She did her best to make sure that didn’t happen by letting Bhim score 5 goals during his attack. She did managed to save enough, though, to throw the game into a sudden death overtime.

Tension was heavy as Annie and Bhim met in the center. In a powerful burst of gracious determination to allow the Braves to gain the eighth place, Annie dominated the ball from the moment it hit the ground, controlled it perfectly down the pitch and scored the game-winning goal before the Braves even knew what hit them. And the history of the WEPA tournament was changed forever. The Screwy Tuskers, bounced out of the Eighth Place have no choice now but to come back next year and win the Championship.

PARTIES PIGS AND POLKA

OK, well there wasn’t actually any polka, but sometimes you just need a headline. And there was plenty of dancing. This was the night of the big WEPA party. It’s an annual tradition. Every year, the kitchen staff at Tiger Tops begins early in the day by killing and preparing a lucious young pig. The pig is barbecued in an open pit barbecue in the jungle for several hours and then served to the hungry polo players after the closing announcements are made.

And the partying begins. It’s nearly a black-tie affair, although with only one suitcase per person and after a week of drenching rainstorms and muddlesome meddlesome mud puddles, the formal attire is kind of a hit and miss proposition. This is the evening for total relaxation and socializing. Wait a minute.Every evening at this place is for relaxation and socializing. And depending on how happy the rhinos have been, some nights have been more sociable than others. This is the night, though for kicking up the heels and dancing till dawn. A large group of Tharu men and women from the local villages sing and dance for the polo players and eventually begin dragging the players out in front to join them in the dancing. Some are more willing than others to engage in this activity. Those unwilling players who are returning to Tiger Tops have learned to hide in the corners. Unfortunately there are no corners so it does get a bit dicey to try to hide.

The evening’s festivities continued until the wee hours of the morning when few remained. As usual, the Screwy Tuskers were well represented at the end of the evening. As were the Tiger Tops Tuskers and a handful of others. The evening ended as four young handsome men, whose names shall not be mentioned, wandered off into the dark with one lecherous old woman, whose name shall not be mentioned, for a trip to the tented camp on elephant back. Or perhaps that is just the lecherous old woman’s fantasy. If so, it was a fine one.